


Kirito Reviews V.R.ANIME: SWORD ART ONLINE

by calumTraveler



Category: Sword Art Online
Genre: Also internet forum discussions on SAO's Plot, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Calling it crack because it probably is, Fake Review, Gen, Humor, I had a dream, In Which Everything Anime gets a V.R. Adaptation, Kirito's talking patterns inspired a bit by SAO Abridged, Meta, Mild Language, Other Shows Mentioned, Sort of inspired by GameTheory, This was that dream, What Is Happening Here, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calumTraveler/pseuds/calumTraveler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an Alternate Universe where Sword Art Online was first released as a Light Novel and Manga Series, Virtual Reality Anime reviewer Kirito talks about the latest release of Sword Art Online: The Anime/Game! </p>
<p>(What even is this thing supposed to be classified as? Crack fic? A serious critique of a non-existent product?)</p>
<p>{A.K.A.: IN which Calum has a weird dream and decides to write down something that doesn't even really make any sense}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kirito Reviews V.R.ANIME: SWORD ART ONLINE

**Author's Note:**

> Dreams. Dreams are weird and I had this stupid phrase stuck in my head.

_**Hello Internet!** _ And welcome to another episode of Kirito's V.R. Anime Reviews!  
  
For those of you just stumbling upon this for the first time, this is a series where I, Kirito, go and review some of the latest V.R. Animes out there! And if you're really a newb who doesn't know what a V.R. Anime is, lemme spell it out for you:  
  
A "V.R. Anime" is, as the name implies, an Anime series produced specifically for Virtual Reality. Usually, these are just adaptations of old series, which let anyone with a NerveGear able to experience the entire series from any major character's point of view. Some people are gluttons for punishment and just like to enjoy the ride (I mean, really, come on, anyone who put themselves into V.R.Evangelion WILLINGLY and sticks to the script HAS to be this!) others, like to use V.R. Animes to create extensive alternate universe fanfictions! (See Lizbeth's _V.R.Hacknimes_ series if you haven't checked it out already!)  
  
The first V.R. Animes were, as I previously mentioned, basically re-hashes of their original series. Mainly, it was just the developers of the technology figuring out how to expand on the series. Later V.R. Animes like _Danganronpa_ ended up basically just being 1-to-1 recreations of their Virtual Novels with choice branches and so on and so forth, but all done in the Semi-Realistic Anime Style!  
Now, for you long time readers, you might be wondering why I'm covering all of this boring history shit. Well, the reason is simple. Today, we're reviewing one of those rare titles that pushes the boundaries of the V.R. Anime genre to its limits and beyond!   
  
What title is that? SWORD ART ONLINE. Oh, yeah, we're getting real meta up in here today. For those of you who don't know, the SAO Manga and Light Novel series is one of those things that got REALLY POPULAR back in the early 2010's. Basically the concept, what happens if Virtual Reality gets SO GOOD that you're stuck inside the game for reals and if you die there you die IRL? I know, sounds stupid right? Why would something like this even be made? Well, the thing is, it did get made, and it got to be REALLY popular. Like, so popular that it basically drove people to MAKE Virtual Reality technology what it is today. The premier tech for V.R. today, NerveGear? It's named after the same tech in the series.  
  
Hell, don't get me wrong. I'm one of the series' biggest fans. The manga is actually pretty good in terms of pacing! But the story.... ugh, there are some issues that really stick out there like sore thumbs waiting to get hammered down. Mainly, this is because of HOW the story was originally written which is a HUGE bucket of fish chum that I'm not even going to touch on here. Why? Because this is the V.R. Anime which should have SO MUCH more potential! We've basically come full circle and if there ISN'T a jump scare or three somewhere along the way then- well- I just don't know what the producers were thinking.  
  
As previously mentioned, the V.R. Anime adaptation of Sword Art Online is really pushing the boundaries of what really makes a V.R. Anime! While a lot of the more recent V.R. Anime have had networking allowing some Multi-player modes in it (Popularized by V.R. Gurren Lagann of course) these have typically been Peer-To-Peer, meaning two different NerveGears connect to eachother and then launch a shared simulation between them. VRSAO however, is taking the "M.M.O." theme from the original story and is actively running with it. There is a single dedicated server to allow any NerveGear with VRSAO on it to connect to, and it handles all of the data sharing between the clients.  
  
In layman's terms, they basically took an actual V.R.M.M.O. game server and are using it to run a V.R. Anime.   
  
Now, I know what you're all thinking. "OH! Kirito! THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA@!!!11eleven!" and "What if we get trapped inside the Anime... like WHAt HAPPENS IN thE BOOKS?!" Let me assure you, dear readers. Your panic attacks are well founded in truth... HAHA! JUST KIDDING! Got you good, you should see the looks on your faces. Haha.

No, seriously, there's no chance this is actually going to happen. We're dealing with the V.R. anime genere here. V.R.Evangelion went through this same thing when it came out. People were actually concerned that the NerveGear was linking players up to giant robots in another dimension and people were battling aliens from yet another dimension.

(No. Seriously. This was a thing. Go look up " _Gainax V. Concerned Parents Against Children Piloting Giant Robots_." I'll wait for you to read it, and get your laughter out of your system.... okay? You good? Right. Moving on.)

Basically? The NerveGear has inbuilt safeties to prevent this kind of scenario. Unlike the S.A.O. manga and novels, the IRL NerveGear doesn't have inbuilt batteries, and EVERY program that runs on it is hard coded to have a Log Out Button available at all times. Literally, you cannot mess with the Log Out code or else the V.R. Program won't be run on a NerveGear. It's like the D.R.M. of modern day gaming. What better way to prevent piracy than to make the Log Out button code un-tamperable? (Also, yeah, MODS are a thing, but they steer WELL clear away from that part of the coding, and it's like the developers WANTED people to make outlandish fanfics with their properties so there's a safe way to do it hard coded into everything.)  
  
Anyways, put your worries aside, because this V.R. Anime is out and you wouldn't be reading this review if it weren't safe. You see that Argo's _Peer Review Award_ in the upper right corner of the site? I earned that the hard way- and not just because she's my girlfriend. That came later. After the award.  
  
...Okay, wow this got really awkward all of a sudden so I'm just going to end this meandering prologue to a fairly hefty review here and move onto SECTION ONE~!  
  


* * *

**KIRITO REVIEWS V.R.ANIME: _SWORD ART ONLINE: AINCRAD_!**

* * *

 

**SECTION 1: OVERVIEW**  
  
I suppose I should be fair.   
  
This is the first installment of the Anime based off of the first two volumes of the Light Novel. Supposedly, we'll be getting the second installment (ALFHEIM/Fairy Dance arc) sometime next year, but I gotta wonder when or even if it'll happen, considering the sheer size and scale of this V.R. Anime.  
  
Earlier I compared this to a real VRMMO, and that's not exaggerating. I think they WERE just making a real VRMMO at one point then realized "wait, why are we doing all of this work when there's an Anime studio ALSO working on this at the same time?" and then mommy met daddy and two companies came together to make this interesting little hybrid of a V.R. Anime. They actually went in and made ALL ONEHUNDRED FLOORS, even though the original story only actually covered up to 75, and even then, barely 10 were focused on in any real detail.  This is what makes me think there was a LOT of actual game development put into this particular title.   
  
I've done at least two solid playthroughs of the Main Story Arc, both as the main protagonist "Sir Frumplebottom"- hah, no, I'm just messing with you again. Kind of. Since there's actually an MMO style system in play here, you can rename your main character to a ridiculous degree. Almost nobody can actually use the canon names because some jerkwads scalped them the first day the game was live and have been sitting on them ever since. They don't even have any play time on them. Trying to use the MainProtag's real name of "Twin Black Swords" Just gets you the error "Sorry, Name already in use."  
  
But really, nobody was really surprised at this 'startling revelation.'   
  
So for my first play through, I did indeed play as Sir Frumplebottom, in the "SOLO BEATER" mode. BTW, it's really, REALLY funny to hear the NPCs struggle with the word "Frumplebottom" for some reason. There's some places where V.R. Animes excel, and their A.I. Text-To-Speach system is NOT one of them. Sir Frumplebottom ended up playing through the main story arc as the story prompts tell you to, as I always do for my first play through.  
  
The original story really didn't improve that much in the translation to V.R. Anime. I think the devs focused more on fleshing out all the alternate paths, because those REALLY shined through better than the "Main Story" itself. Some of the story prompts, like the "Black Cats" arc, just are mind numbingly stupid. Why DOESN'T the main hero actually tell them his in-game level? Just... Why?? I was really tempted to sequence break that arc on my first play through, but... I'm actually kind of glad I didn't. I'll touch more on that in Voice Acting's section. Following through the main 15 episode plot-arch was a slog given the stupid choices made. It's almost like the devs were begging the players to deviate from the standard course. But this slog was really where the fighting system shone through.  
  
Where other Fighting Sim V.R. Animes have trouble prompting you to do the right motions (Just go back to my Evangelion review. Laugh upon my repeated deaths and dispare!), SAO ends up running with the in-built "Sword Skill" system and carries it up to the god-damned moon on magical faerie wings!  
  
For the first time in a LONG time, I had more fun FIGHTING in a V.R. Anime than I did in a standard V.R. Game. I'll say this about SAO, even if you hate the premise, you've got to atleast try the game for the fighting system alone. I actually picked up a few tricks from it that I've managed to apply to other games and- WOW. Just. WOW. Whoever they hired to design these Sword Skills did a wonderful job of it.   
  
My second play through was in "MMO Mode" as "Sir Plagg Camberbert," and as per normal, I basically did whatever the hell I wanted to. Turn the Moe Loli Dragon Tamer into the bad-ass Front Line Clearer? HELL YES. Convince the big bad to let everyone go by beating him in Chess? YOU BET I DID! In truth, my second play through as Sir Plagg was less of a single play through and more of... multiple play throughs. Combat shone through good here too, but it was really overwhelmed by all the sheer chaos someone can get up to in Aincrad just by the sheer nature of running into other people who are doing random shit too.

Once, I ran into a girl named Silica playing as the previously mentioned Loli Dragon tamer "Glass Heart." You might recognize her name from that one Elder Scrolls V.R. adaptation that came out a while back. Instead of taming Dragons, she'd opted for taming Feral Were-beasts. Werewolves, Werebears, Werecats, just about anything that was "Were" was following her around where-ever she went. When she solo'd the Floor 74 booss with a horde of Were-beasts, I knew this was really her and not just someone using her name. Damn, Girl. Kudos to you for making Gleam Eyes cry! (First time I've EVER seen that, BTW. Never been able to do it myself either.) Argo also played with me a few times as well, usually taking up the roll of "Dame Snow the Crimson Flash" as the main Protag's Love interest, but once she rolled up as her namesake in SAO- "Argus the Rat-nosed Info'Broker." Both times, somehow she managed to make an already badass character even awesome-er just by adding her own flare to the characters.   
  
(Also, I think I might have a thing for face paint now. WOW.)

  
  
**SECTION 2: THE VOICE ACTING**  
  
The Pre-Recorded dialogue for the Main Story, following word for word from the original script, is simply AMAZING. From each and every character, despite the occasionally dumb dialogue choices, the words spoken were done with real heartfelt emotion.   
  
The Murder Guild members all had that creepy under tone to their voices, and the Black Cats arc...   
  
I brought this up before, but I'm clarifying it now: Sasha Bluebell's voice actress, Sachi, really pulled out all the stops for this one. From the post-death rendition of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, to the emotion she gave in the water-ways... It's a real tear-jerker. And that's not even touching on the dialogue she pulls out if you manage to keep her from dying in the Trap Room. I spent a whole play through just focusing on that arc alone.   
  
The only parts that jarred me out of the experience was hearing the A.I. struggle to put together my display'd names. Frumplebottom, again, wonderful to hear them gag on it, but not so much in the middle of an otherwise smoothly recorded dialogue scene. (Damned Name Scalpers.) However, Sir Plagg managed to be at least somewhat recognizable and didn't take me too out of the experience. Elsewhere in SAO, the pre-recorded, un-divergent dialogue is WONDERFULLY voiced. If I didn't already have Argo, I might just have fallen for Dame Snow for the scene where she rescues the Protagonist from the Murder Guild assassin. And if I didn't know from the original novels that she survives, her Sacrifice scene in Floor 75's boss room is meant to be a tear jerker as well... And while it's clearly an echo of Sasha Bluebell's death, because I know she survives, Dame Snow's voice actress just couldn't quite pull out the tears from me.   
  
Arch Villain Heathcliff's voice actor manages to perfect the 'steady monotone' that the character is known for, and in alternate scenarios, he manages to emulate some visible emotions through the dialogue while still sounding monotone! Just try diverging at the "Dual Blades Skill Reveal" scene by telling him to jump off the walls of the castle. Just, damn, that cold, tranquil fury hiding behind the monotone... I don't know how he does it, but it's amazing to hear.  
  
Other minor characters- like Glass Heart, Blacksmith Fire Anvil, or the Male Traitor Characters who all share a Voice Actor and somehow manages to sound different every time- also manage decent pre-recordings too. Their divergent paths are a little bit stiffer than some of the others, but they're still decent enough overall.  
Random NPCs? Frumplebottom. That's all there is to say on the matter.  
  


* * *

 

  
**SECTION 3: IN CONCLUSION**  
  
 **MAIN STORY:** It's okay. 3.5/5 stars. The setting and brand name is what people buy it for, but they stay for the:  
  
 **DIVERGENT PATHS:** Which are **META. _AS. FUCK._** 1001/1000 STARS! Holy shit this is pretty much what EVERYONE hopes for with a V.R. Anime release. And with the world setting being so expansive as it is... Just. Damn. This is why Sword Art Online was popular in the first place. People saw the bones of the story hidden beneath some rusty armor and then they polished it to HELL, HEAVEN, And BACK TO EARTH again.   
  
The Devs knew what they were doing with this... game? Can this really be called a V.R. Anime when it's so much like a real live game? I can't wait to see how they handle the Alfheim arc. Are they just going to make it it's own separate title? Or will it be an expansion to this one that already exists?  VRSAO only came out about a month ago, but DAMN if it isn't going to be one of the top titles for years to come- Especially if they go the Expansion route. Modding support isn't here for the game just yet, but I don't think it's needed yet. There are still so many divergent paths to discover here that I'll probably still be finding things next month, or maybe even into next year. Who knows.  
  
Should you pick it up? HELL. YES. Just. YES. GET IT. Support the Devs! VRSAO is one of those once in a lifetime things that pushes the boundaries of what people once thought possible. If you don't get it now, you're going to end up getting it later anyways, just: TRUST ME ON THIS.   
  
This has been another Kirito Reviews! Peace Out!

**Author's Note:**

> Meta. As. Fuck.


End file.
